


Wash away the pain

by threeboldladies



Category: The Bold Type
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 13:30:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16018922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threeboldladies/pseuds/threeboldladies
Summary: Post Kadena fight in 2x10.





	Wash away the pain

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first ever fic on here, so please go easy on me! comments are much appreciated. Follow me on tumblr @threeboldladies. I take requests!

“So, I should uh, I should get ready for this party” Kat says defeated

 

Adena’s eyes are always so expressive, and all Kat can see is pain. She leaves for the bathroom to get ready like she said, but more importantly to not break down in front of Adena. Alone in the bathroom she looks into the mirror, and her world begins to close in. Tears stream down her face, and the salty taste burns her tongue. Her chest tightens, an all too familiar feeling, one she felt when she watched Adena get on the plane. The feeling is slightly different this time because it’s not brought on by the fear of never being able to have Adena, it’s the hopeless feeling of knowing what it is like to be loved by her, and potentially losing it. 

 

The Scarlet party goes by in a blur, a cloud of champagne bubbles and fake smiles. Adena didn’t show. Kat knows this may be for real, because through everything, they always show up. Her heart hurts knowing she won’t get to see Adenas face when she sees the gold suit Kat picked out just for her. The tight fist wrapped around her heart hasn’t loosened since the moment Adena admitted she doesn’t know what to do about their relationship. 

The girls go their separate ways after the party, and Kat finds herself in a bar, trying to numb the pain, and loosen the tightness in her chest. She drinks more than she knows she should, but it’s the only thing she can think to do. The pretty girl at the end of the bar keeps making eyes at her, but when she gets up to come talk to Kat, Kat gets up, and leaves. The thought of anyones hands but Adenas holding her tonight makes her heart ache even more. 

 

She stumbles back to the hotel room, and Adena isn’t there, but the evidence of her presence is everywhere. The faint scent of her lingers on the pillowcase, and her jacket is draped over the chair in the corner. Kat goes to the bathroom to take off her makeup, but the sight of Adena’s perfume on the counter makes her fall to pieces. She crumbles to the ground, and cannot stop the stream of tears flowing out of her. She feels the only person she has ever loved, the only person to ever make her feel safe is slipping through her fingers, and she is coming face to face with her worst nightmare - she is not enough to make Adena happy. 

 

This fear and dread suddenly turns to something different...panic. Kat can’t breath, all the air she once had has been ripped from her lungs, and the bathroom is closing in on her. She turns on the shower, and begins to take off her suit, but the pressing feeling of needing the warmth of the water overcomes her, and she gets in, still mostly clothed. She sinks to the floor, letting the water dance across her face. Tears, and water, and makeup all run together towards the drain. Kats painful breaths and cries can be heard throughout the small hotel room. She is so lost she doesn’t hear the front door open, and the familiar click of Adena’s heels walking toward the bathroom.

 

“Kat” Adena says just above a whisper as she enters the bathroom 

 

Kat looks up, and Adena’s breath catches at the sight of her. Never has she seen Kat so vulnerable or hurt, and never has she felt so terrible for being the cause of it 

 

“Kat” Adena says again, louder this time 

 

Kat doesn’t respond, just looks away, and pulls her knees to her chest. Adena turns off the water and sits down next to her on the wet tile 

 

“You didn’t come” Kat says breaking the silence between them

 

“I didn’t think it was right” Adena responds trying to find her eyes 

 

Kat stays looking down, not knowing what to say or do. Adena notices the way her hands shake, and the nervous way she is pulling at the seams of her pants. 

 

“I’m sorry” Kat says quietly a while later 

 

“Why?” Adena says confused, still begging for Kat to look into her eyes

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be enough” Kat responds 

 

Adena’s eyes fill with tears, the woman she loves is falling apart in front of her, and there is no way to fix it. 

 

“Kat...” she starts 

 

Before she can continue Kat abruptly stands up, and gets out of the shower, wrapping herself and her wet clothes in a towel, she tries to storm out, but she is clumsy, and drunk, and tired 

 

“Please don’t” Adena begs as Kat reaches for the door 

 

Kat freezes “You want space” she says 

 

“I need you to stay, I need to know you’re safe” Adena says through tears 

 

“Not this time Adena” she responds 

 

“Don’t run, baby please” Adena pleads before covering her mouth at the realization of what she just said 

 

Every fiber of Kat’s being hurts.  _ Baby. _ Kat thinks back to the first time Adena ever called her that, simply in passing-  _ hey baby, do you want cream in your coffee?-  _ She remembers how happy it made her, and how much this hurts now. 

 

“Go find inspiration, I guess i’m not it” she replies before opening the door, and leaving

 

Now it is Adena who breaks down on the floor of this tiny hotel room, in a city she once called home, a city that is now tainted. 


End file.
